Authenticity, Life Direction and Purpose, Productivity
This is the question you need to ask yourself in 2024
I stopped making new year’s resolutions a while back. I could never see the point, especially considering the statistics that surround them. Just this morning the news was mentioning by the end of January, 43% of Americans will have already given up on whatever it was they resolved to do. But if not a new year’s resolution, then what? I think it’s human nature to gravitate towards the future. To think about things like goals and plans. I’ve been pondering this conundrum lately, as I’ve spent the last month taking a much needed and long breath. And I use the word breath very intentionally, rather than break. I closed my practice down over the holidays, something I’ve never done before. I went hiking with my husband out in the southwest – we visited Zion, Bryce Canyon, White Sands and many other desert hot spots. The breath gave me time to ask myself some questions, and to do some deeper reflection on what I really want. But the questions I was asking myself were different than the ones I’ve often asked myself in the past. In the past it tended to center around goal setting. What goals do I want to set for myself this year? What do I want to accomplish? Then a logical jumping off point from that question is to then think about how to make those goals SMART – specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time bound. We are starting with the wrong question. I tried asking myself these questions over my break this year, but no dice. I really tried. The answers just weren’t coming, and I did something that was hard to do – I resisted the urge to just come up with something and put it in a spreadsheet. It was really tough because the feeling of restlessness came up. I had a feeling it would come, and it was overwhelming. It was pushing me to sign up for a million different things and to try to fill my schedule with a million different activities. Restlessness is a feeling I’ll do anything to escape. I decided to sit with it instead. I looked deep into that feeling, and the patterns it can often create in my life. I asked myself what was really going on, what was sitting under the restlessness. I asked again and again, I resolved myself to feel it, and it eventually passed. And from the bottom of that well, a different kind of question emerged. This year, I stopped asking myself, “What do I want to do?” And I started asking myself instead a different question, “How do I want to be?” Being versus the doing The answer was one single word that kept coming to me over and over and over again. In conversations, in dreams, in everyday life interactions. Depth. It’s become my word now for 2024, an intention that I’ve set to define my year. Interestingly I’m feeling very differently about 2024 having gone through this reflection and […]
January 24, 2024
5 min read
SHELLEY’S MONTHLY MINDFULNESS MOMENT: THE REAL REASON YOU WON’T KEEP YOUR NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION
If you’re like millions of folks across the globe, chances are you set a New Year’s resolution. And if you’re like most folks, you probably won’t keep it either. Some statistics say your chances are about 8%, which is not super inspiring. And most folks will say it’s because they’re lacking in willpower. As a coach I see this quite a bit. A client will set themselves a task for homework and when the next session comes, they just haven’t found the time to do it. When the question why is asked, it’s not uncommon to hear things like “I know I should be doing it, but time just got away from me.” The real reason you won’t keep your New Year’s resolution is that you’re lying to yourself (although you probably don’t even realize it). The word should is a dead giveaway. I should cut down on drinking, I should quit smoking, I should save more money, I should be nicer to my kids, I should be more organized. We should all over ourselves all the time. The bottom line is that we make time for the things that are really important. We don’t however make time for the shoulds. That’s why they are shoulds. They are often the things we THINK we need to do because maybe some important person said it was a good idea, or your mom said to do it when you were a kid or you heard about it on TV and thought it would be a good idea. When I hear a lot of shoulds from a client I start asking questions about what’s really important. If you can connect a should to something that’s really important to you, you have a much better chance of actually doing it. Let me give you an example: For a long time I thought I should go to boot camp in the morning. Despite buying the fancy shoes and designer work out top I never went however, even though I kept telling myself that it would be good for my health. Now I think about it differently. One of my most important goals is to be the best coach I can be for my clients. Boot camp is incredibly energizing and when I go I feel so much better the rest of the day. I’m more focused, have more energy for my clients and show up in the way I want to be seen by others. So yes boot camp is good for my health, but I really go because it makes me a better coach. See the difference? Once I made that connection I started going, and I haven’t stopped, despite the fact it’s been really cold lately in the mornings and I HATE the cold… How’s it going with your resolution? If the answer is not very well, how could you reframe it to increase your commitment?
February 8, 2016
2.5 min read
It was a privilege to work with Shelley as my leadership coach! The process was structured and yet flexible enough to meet needs as they arose. Shelley helped me to grow, learn more about myself, and to really achieve what I set out to accomplish. We worked on planning, navigating a promotion successfully, and so much more! I experienced many successes as a result of working with Shelley, she has great resources, knowledge, and really helps with setting the foundation to this coaching work. She won’t let you down!
Having the opportunity to have Shelley as my Leadership Coach could not have come at a better time in my career. I was recently promoted to CFO and was new to the Senior Management Team. Shelley helped me navigate joining the team as well as helped me to determine who I wanted to be as a leader. The Leadership Circle Profile helped our team to discover our blinds spots and to be able to understand each other better. Working with Shelley not only has affected my professional life in a positive way, but also my personal life. She helped me take leaps and has given me the resources to continue this journey of self-improvement. If you’re looking to find more about yourself and how you can be the best version of yourself, I highly recommend working with Shelley.
I have been working with Shelley for the past 2 years on my leadership development journey. What I thought would be a straight line, I soon learned with Shelley’s guidance, was a winding path with several ups and downs along the way. Shelley supported me as I took a deep dive into my professional and personal history and learned how it affects my approach and my perceptions. She helped me to slow down and recognize certain behaviors and understand that I can pivot in the moment or try again next time. Ultimately, my work with Shelley turned out to be so much more than what I expected. Her approach to coaching was exactly what I needed.
Senior Vice President, Consulting
I’ve learned more about leadership in the past six months working with Shelley than I have in my 10+ year career. She is an incredible coach with many tools in her toolbox. The guidance and mentorship I’ve received from Shelley has been life-changing. She will challenge your limiting beliefs and inspire new ways of thinking.
I highly recommend Shelley if you need a coach, thought partner, and guide as you consider the next steps in your career. She provides practical tools and advice to help launch your career exploration, but most importantly, she is an expert at helping you cut through the noise of your limiting beliefs. At the end of our time together, I had a much clearer vision of what I wanted in my life and a plan to make it happen. My only regret is that I didn’t find her sooner!
My career coaching sessions with Shelley have brought me back to living. It’s been contagious, spreading throughout my personal and professional life. I now have the building blocks I need to continue setting healthy boundaries, the freedom to show up as my authentic self, and an adaption of a growth mindset that has allowed me to make bold decisions and try new things. I’ve discovered that there’s always another way and how to eradicate barriers that lead to tunnel vision. These sessions with Shelley have been a great gift and have given me the momentum I need to continue the journey to be my best self.
It is amazing to think where I was only 10 months ago when I first started working with Shelley and where I am now. Not only professionally but mentally and emotionally. Shelley helped me navigate out of an unhealthy work environment by challenging me and asking me those tough questions we never seem to ask ourselves. What are the values of a true leader? How do those values align with my own? Shelley challenging me and guiding me through some of those tough questions is what led to my epiphany and me having the courage and confidence to leave an environment that threatened my well-being. She taught me how to become more self-aware and self-compassionate. Reminded me to be kind even when the world would understand if I did otherwise. And the biggest one for me, shutting down that crazy inner voice (we all have it!) and replacing it with being present. Shelley has armed me with tools that I will carry with me for a lifetime. Tools that will help me to continue to grow and learn. Life can be hard but working with someone like Shelley does make it easier. She will help you navigate the good and the bad and you’ll learn so much about yourself in the process.
Director of Marketing
First of all I would like to say that I would recommend Shelley to anyone needing career guidance. As my counselor Shelley helped me transition my career from bartending to Tech Sales which was a difficult and scary transition for me. From the start Shelley was fantastic. Initially I had no idea of which direction I wanted my career to go, I just knew I wanted it to go somewhere else. Shelley was so kind and patient as she helped me figure this out, and gave me a step by step guide on how to explore my options and make an educated decision. She also helped me assess my skill set which played a large part in directing my energy. I landed a great job within days of my final session with Shelley, and now I’m month 3 I am absolutely loving it and doing very well. It was the perfect job for me and Shelley was the one that got me there. Working with Shelley was one of the best decisions I have ever made, she literally changed my life and I am so much happier for it.