Today’s blog is hitting on a topic near and dear to my heart. It reminds me of the proverbial phrase, “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop.” If you grew up in the South like I did, you’ve probably heard a version of this in your formative years. And if you didn’t – welcome to my world, filled with many such sayings like this one and “There are a million ways to skin a dead armadillo.” (the latter of which we won’t be focusing on today just in case you were wondering…) Idle hands aren’t the problem But we do live in this way – idle hands are to be avoided at all costs. I’ve often wondered why. Maybe, deep down, we’re afraid of calm. Fearful of it even. Silence can be terrifying if we’re not used to it. When I first started practicing mindfulness and meditation, I heard horrible stories about adverse reactions folks were having upon trying a few minutes of meditation. It scared me as a facilitator. Panic attacks. Participants reporting they felt their skin was crawling. And when I’ve felt forced to sit for a long time at a meditation retreat, I’ve often experienced similar sensations. Feelings like boredom can be unbearable, especially if we always have the constant companion of the smartphone and scrolling to keep us company. That’s the annoying problem with mindfulness practices like meditation. They’re difficult only because we must sit with ourselves. We are finally alone with ourselves. And when you’re alone and have nothing to distract you, you have no choice but to feel what you’re feeling. Human beings are masters at avoiding feeling the difficult things. We become workaholics, alcoholics, shopoholics, foodoholics instead. I’ve even seen working out become an obsession. I have a friend who manages this dance better than anything I’ve ever seen. She runs a successful business, she’s always on the go. She stays in perpetual motion. We have a party and she’s on her phone responding to a text, in-between bouncing around from guest to guest engaging them in banter, then running to the kitchen to straighten things, helping with the dishes (which I greatly appreciate by the way!). I don’t think I’ve ever seen her sit still. There’s a look in her eyes that I’ve picked up on, she’s scanning the room looking for the next thing she can do, straighten, clean, or put away. I get this compulsion all too well because quite often I’ve been this person. If you look hard enough in those moments, you’ll notice what’s sitting underneath the surface is a restlessness. An emptiness. The restlessness is a clue – We’re really running on empty I’ve been feeling quite a bit of this myself lately, so I know. The difference is I’ve finally learned it’s not a sign that I need to speed up. That’s how I used to handle it. I would find ways to occupy myself, anything I could do to keep that empty, restless, grasping, sticky feeling […]
July 27, 2023
4.9 min read
Emotional Intelligence, Well Being
What We Can Learn From the Groundhog
It’s been an interesting week here in Austin, Texas. The first ice storm of 2023 rained down on the city this week and considering the driving skills of most Texans in ice, we have all been ordered to stay put in the safe recesses of our homes (assuming you have power, and if not it’s every man for himself…). The Makings of One Massive Frustration Funk Not being able to leave the house for several days already had me in a funk. We extroverts need to be let out of our cage. Then a client offsite I had so carefully planned got cancelled due to covid. There went my perfectly orchestrated client schedule and my trip to New Orleans I was so looking forward to that just happened to perfectly coincide with Mardi Gras (Throw me some beads, Mister!). Unfortunately, no new beads for me this year. Add to that a 5-day migraine which started on Monday and is only letting up now, and it’s fair to say I haven’t been an easter basket of joy these past few days. My consolation had been old episodes of Married at First Sight (it’s addictive, I swear!) until we lost internet, so now I’ve been forced to work on this blog given I can’t stream anymore. And I’m mad about that. I need to know if Sonia says yes to Nick in season 4 of my show…if I were in her shoes, it would be a big resounding NO. This morning tensions came to a peak, no yoga for almost a week, and I found myself in what I often refer to as an emotional loop of doom – an ongoing diatribe that repeats in one’s head like a bad Def Leppard song. It’s easy in these moments to feel like you’re right back where you started. I was down on myself and life in general. I’m never going to figure these migraines out. Rescheduling the offsite is going to put my work back with these clients, it’s going to jeopardize the progress we’ve made. Why are these jeans so damn tight! Why does the internet hot spot on my phone not work! My ISP sucks! Why did the cat just pee inside in the pot of succulents – Jesus! And then my thoughts went to an even darker place. What’s the point of any of this! Does anything I do even make a difference! You know that sticky, restless feeling when you’re mad with everyone and everything including yourself? You can’t focus, you rush from task to task to keep yourself busy but nothing seems to help? Yes, I was there. And coincidently yesterday was Groundhog Day. A coincidence I think not! 3 Simple Tactics to Fight Frustration and the Curse of the Groundhog So I sat down at my computer and forced (yes forced) myself to do 3 simple things that I’ve often advocating my clients do (yes it is hard at times to practice what you preach!): Coaching Questions […]
February 3, 2023
4.1 min read
It was a privilege to work with Shelley as my leadership coach! The process was structured and yet flexible enough to meet needs as they arose. Shelley helped me to grow, learn more about myself, and to really achieve what I set out to accomplish. We worked on planning, navigating a promotion successfully, and so much more! I experienced many successes as a result of working with Shelley, she has great resources, knowledge, and really helps with setting the foundation to this coaching work. She won’t let you down!
Having the opportunity to have Shelley as my Leadership Coach could not have come at a better time in my career. I was recently promoted to CFO and was new to the Senior Management Team. Shelley helped me navigate joining the team as well as helped me to determine who I wanted to be as a leader. The Leadership Circle Profile helped our team to discover our blinds spots and to be able to understand each other better. Working with Shelley not only has affected my professional life in a positive way, but also my personal life. She helped me take leaps and has given me the resources to continue this journey of self-improvement. If you’re looking to find more about yourself and how you can be the best version of yourself, I highly recommend working with Shelley.
I have been working with Shelley for the past 2 years on my leadership development journey. What I thought would be a straight line, I soon learned with Shelley’s guidance, was a winding path with several ups and downs along the way. Shelley supported me as I took a deep dive into my professional and personal history and learned how it affects my approach and my perceptions. She helped me to slow down and recognize certain behaviors and understand that I can pivot in the moment or try again next time. Ultimately, my work with Shelley turned out to be so much more than what I expected. Her approach to coaching was exactly what I needed.
Senior Vice President, Consulting
I’ve learned more about leadership in the past six months working with Shelley than I have in my 10+ year career. She is an incredible coach with many tools in her toolbox. The guidance and mentorship I’ve received from Shelley has been life-changing. She will challenge your limiting beliefs and inspire new ways of thinking.
I highly recommend Shelley if you need a coach, thought partner, and guide as you consider the next steps in your career. She provides practical tools and advice to help launch your career exploration, but most importantly, she is an expert at helping you cut through the noise of your limiting beliefs. At the end of our time together, I had a much clearer vision of what I wanted in my life and a plan to make it happen. My only regret is that I didn’t find her sooner!
My career coaching sessions with Shelley have brought me back to living. It’s been contagious, spreading throughout my personal and professional life. I now have the building blocks I need to continue setting healthy boundaries, the freedom to show up as my authentic self, and an adaption of a growth mindset that has allowed me to make bold decisions and try new things. I’ve discovered that there’s always another way and how to eradicate barriers that lead to tunnel vision. These sessions with Shelley have been a great gift and have given me the momentum I need to continue the journey to be my best self.
It is amazing to think where I was only 10 months ago when I first started working with Shelley and where I am now. Not only professionally but mentally and emotionally. Shelley helped me navigate out of an unhealthy work environment by challenging me and asking me those tough questions we never seem to ask ourselves. What are the values of a true leader? How do those values align with my own? Shelley challenging me and guiding me through some of those tough questions is what led to my epiphany and me having the courage and confidence to leave an environment that threatened my well-being. She taught me how to become more self-aware and self-compassionate. Reminded me to be kind even when the world would understand if I did otherwise. And the biggest one for me, shutting down that crazy inner voice (we all have it!) and replacing it with being present. Shelley has armed me with tools that I will carry with me for a lifetime. Tools that will help me to continue to grow and learn. Life can be hard but working with someone like Shelley does make it easier. She will help you navigate the good and the bad and you’ll learn so much about yourself in the process.
Director of Marketing
First of all I would like to say that I would recommend Shelley to anyone needing career guidance. As my counselor Shelley helped me transition my career from bartending to Tech Sales which was a difficult and scary transition for me. From the start Shelley was fantastic. Initially I had no idea of which direction I wanted my career to go, I just knew I wanted it to go somewhere else. Shelley was so kind and patient as she helped me figure this out, and gave me a step by step guide on how to explore my options and make an educated decision. She also helped me assess my skill set which played a large part in directing my energy. I landed a great job within days of my final session with Shelley, and now I’m month 3 I am absolutely loving it and doing very well. It was the perfect job for me and Shelley was the one that got me there. Working with Shelley was one of the best decisions I have ever made, she literally changed my life and I am so much happier for it.